Thinking

well, I'm just looking through an old disc I have w/various burned humorous stuffs.........I have always loved this one & so for old time's sake I post it :)


THINKING

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now andthen to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, andsoon I was more than just a social thinker.I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew itwasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I wasthinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew thatthinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau andKafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,"What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I hadturned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. Shespent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss calledme in. He said, "I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but yourthinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on thejob, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," Iconfessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.

"You think as much as college professors, and college professors don'tmake any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stompedout the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for someNietzsche. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glassdoors... they didn't open. The library was closed. As I sank to theground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, aposter caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from thestandard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss aTA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was"Porky's."

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the lastmeeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.