Thursday, March 02, 2006

C'est Moi...or is it?

Anyone who knew me as a child, actually anyone who has known me - perhaps discounting the past 2 years (?) - would know my aversion for fish, or anything really that lived in the water!

Not to see or touch - more on the tasting side of things was where the issues "surfaced" (going along with the water theme :) ). It's funny now to look back at those childhood days when my parents would try (in vain) to get me to eat fish. There were the dinner meals when you couldn't leave the table unless you ate it.....which inevitably lead to me learning to eat it, without really having to taste it.

Just cut it small enough so you can pop it in your mouth & swallow it whole with some sort of beverage. But the trick was to cut it big enough so you're not sitting there all night swallowing little "fish pills" & getting bloated with all the liquid! ha, ha

Then who could forget the times when they would "parentally encourage" me to eat it stating that, "Jesus ate it". What good Christian girl wouldn't eat fish?! I would promptly tell them that "He can have this too then!" Ahhh, I laugh now even writing this......

Funny after those long ago struggles, more so given the fact that now I actually like fish (some). It was quite an ordeal to me even when a few years ago I discovered I like & could eat shrimp. Maybe it was the great BBQing skills with which it was prepared? Whatever. It didn't stop there.

One day I bravely purchased a can of tuna & thought, ok, I can do this! I don't know how long I psyched myself up for it but upon tasting it, I wondered, did I buy the wrong can?! Did I, in err, actually buy chicken?! No, it says tuna.....no wonder it's referred to as the 'chicken of the sea!'

& lest you think these "days of discovery" are from years gone by - only the other day I tried a bite of salmon - fearing to take the whole thing & waste it if I didn't like it. Again to my surprise, I liked it!

What happened to the little girl, that with no amount of cajoling, could be convinced to partake of such fishy "delights"??? Well quite obviously, given time, my tastebuds have changed.

& herein lies my purpose in sharing this story, the fact being that, people can change. Oh I know, it sounds so simple & anti-climactic. But that's just it. We live our lives, first off being shaped by our parents (or guardians of some sort) & the shaping of who we are continues as our world expands. The experiences we have, whether good or bad, play their role in our lives.

Of course we have certain dispositions & personalities to begin with but when the years have gone by & we look in the mirror, who do we see? Sometimes we look in the mirror & see the inconsistencies, the flaws, & don't look past the image (of our lives). Getting stuck on thinking, 'well this is just who I am, it will always be this way'.

Many times I have thought - or still think that very thing - but when I have a sane moment :) the realization comes. To a certain extent - we are shaped by the events of life - yes. But when the cards have all been dealt, we are the ones who choose which cards to play.

Our past may shout from the mirror, 'this is who you are!', only it's slighty askew. This is who you were..............you then get to choose who you ARE!


& now and again - beyond ourselves - we catch a glimpse of a someone. We scratch our head in wonder as we continue to gaze, til suddenly we see.....

That's me?!

2 comments:

Lindsay said...

very insightful ms. forsberg...i am feeling that way at the moment as i expand my own knowledge of who i am...discovering things about me that i did not know...learing things that i want to change...it's a refreshing process...

rainy dayz can be happy.. said...

You blow me away with your wise words miss forsberg. It takes me a while sometimes to digest what you have to say because more often or not, it's like a wee revalation which goes straight to my heart. Love nxxx